There’s Always Loads of information entering our nervous systems, the dance is always in the choice of response. Even when I might react strongly, I can observe That and notice and choose change as I need to into a calmer, less volatile state, being compassionate with myself and the old grooves and patterns that have lit up perhaps.
A Familiar arrow trigger of late has been on Unsocial media – I keep seeing people post around the important topic of mental health – sickeningly sugar sweet posts suggesting that their door is always open and that they are always there with a listening ear… Absolutely Hilarious!!!!!!
My experience has been that None of these people have showed up for me when I have surfed the dark, scary, terrifying, painful, deep material on my own and when I have struggled like crazy to stay on the Earth and keep choosing life. My experience of mental health is that there is often No way whatsoever that I can reach out when I'm IN the material and it is virtually impossible to pick up a phone to someone in that place. These generic posts that appear to lack empathy, substance or genuine reaching out, push my buttons like a discordant incredibly loud cord on a Cathedral organ. I watch the labels light up – anger, rage, frustration, irritation, more anger… lots of fire….. wow!
It’s All a game! All of it! It is Not about the disingenuous fakery of the information shared (which I understand is shared from a well meaning idea), it’s not about the lack of empathy and understanding that I feel. It’s not about who says what or does or doesn't show up. It’s not about anything external…
Can I stay grounded, rooted, present and observant when the arrows fly?
Can I let it bounce off, brush off, pass through without injury? Can I look away and just ignore it all? Can I just Laugh? To be honest…. Not always! I have a desire to Explain myself and say why and how I felt hurt in some way… Part of that is reclaiming my voice after feeling so very suppressed and silenced for so very very long. I can see this egoic part about wanting to justify myself and also to educate people.
BUT, maybe that’s not my job? Maybe my job IS to let it all bounce off or evaporate? Maybe it’s possible, maybe all is well- always. Maybe these posts are an invitation to let me see how I have taken care of Myself when people have not been there and to give thanks - I Have been the One to keep me alive and keep choosing life, when I didn’t really want to. I Have been the loyal friend to myself, witnessing all of the journey. I Have offered my skin the warm human touch it desperately needed to say – Stay Here, Stay Here, Stay Here. External human beings can be flighty and unpredictable and often so wrapped up in their own lives that they Don’t even see that a fellow human is doing their utmost to stay alive and be well. Maybe it's all an invitation to be compassionate with others as well, keep forgiving when they seem to let me down or don’t show up in the ways that I need or post any seemingly ridiculous messages on unsocial media.
Watch the arrows fly, but they Do not need to pierce you. The best tool to disarm these arrows, is Laughter. Keep light, Keep Shining and don’t let the arrows hit. It’s all about Choice. All is well.