It amuses me when I notice the churn of material and propaganda around this time of year about “Resolutions”. Why are people drawn to consider that word, why do they seek and yearn and strive for something? What’s missing, what’s the addiction, what’s the pull?
Yeah, I’ve been there/ done that/ got the t-shirt. I made commitments that lasted a Very short time. Why? Not because I am undisplined or lazy but because I feel that the concept of resolutions are fundamentally very flawed. It’s a multi billion pound machine that feeds on FEAR and lack and unworthiness and not only do you need to change but you MUST to be socially acceptable and Lovable, ONLY when you Change will you be acceptable and lovable and worthy… and So many buy into it all and hand over their cash, time and energy.
It’s Very much based on a concept that there’s something Wrong with us, something that needs fixed and WHEN we achieve the goals, THEN Everything will be ok and we can relax and enjoy the fruits of our labours. For example: WHEN I weigh such and such an amount or get to a certain size, THEN I’ll be happy/ Content/ at peace etc… It’s the same with the rest: WHEN I make a certain amount of money or get a certain material thing or have a certain job or certain relationship etc, THEN Everything will be ok. So companies flood the market with their products and services - “buy wizzo and fizzo the latest supergreens and supplements and get along to this class and that and this super coach and that and yeah make a vision board or two…. Give us your money and Everything will be ok…”
There are all these messages about NEW as if new is Always better, well not always! What’s right Here, Right NOW is pretty damn amazing! There’s a lot of push to be skinny for example but I can tell you I’ve known plenty very thin people who are not very happy or healthy and plenty large people who are, so it just doesn’t come down to that.
I took part in a photoshoot a couple of years back in my underwear to get images out there of people that aren’t photoshopped and false, just real and gorgeous Exactly as they are. It was an Absolutely HUGE thing for me to do and I stood beside others who triggered my own insecurities and doubts about myself and STILL I showed up and stood there as
We live in the illusions of the Future and miss the MAGIC Right here. We are leaving the present moment with all it’s beauty and wonder and magic to go into an unreal fantasy world that doesn’t even exist and we have NO Clue how it will be as we Can NOT control the Future, no matter How Hard we TRY.
What are we searching for in all our goals/ hopes/ aspirations? What is it that these things will give to us? How will we feel when we have x/y/ or z? At the end of the day, we are doing something to Feel a certain way. So why do we have to wait until we look a certain way or have a certain product or partner or whatever to be “happy”? Happiness is Not an outside job, it comes from No person, place, experience, any of it, it comes from within, it is always accessible if you slow down and notice. No amount of fancy handbags or cars would EVER satisfy me as it’s Not about that for me, all that is So transitory and fleeting, it’s Just Stuff, I’m just not interested.
I choose not to postpone my happiness. I choose not to postpone my peace or my joy or my freedom. ALL of these things are available to us RIGHT NOW, in This Very moment. You Don’t have to leave this moment to experience your birthright. It is Completely irrelevant what external factors are present, I can experience deep peace. I can rest Deeper into the Silence that is Always present and I taste exquisite bliss, all without loosing a single pound – physical or financial.
Sure, it’s ok to make healthy choices but if in the moment you want a glass of wine or piece of cake – go for it and really ENJOY it. A Lot that comes up with resolutions feels like enormous amounts of self violence, shame, guilt, pain, suffering, postponing, striving, pushing…… then if you slip off your plan, you get back on and go go go again and again - It Doesn’t sound like FUN or PLEASURE! And we are given all these messages like “no gain without pain…” well, I don’t personally believe that at all, I don’t subscribe to the old masculine models. You can push and push and push and sacrifice and strive and once you finally Get your prize, then what? Maybe you will loose it Completely, who knows. Nothing is certain about the future, it’s an illusion, it doesn’t exist.
Success is measured in all sorts of ridiculous ways but Actually, if you woke up today (and I don’t mean in the Spiritual sense) then you are a success. If you are Still here on this rock, you are a success.
There can be ENORMOUS amounts of Gain without pain. So go Gently on yourself – Always. Go sweetly and kindly and if you want a resolution to play with – give up all self violence and just allow your life to unfold moment by moment without projecting into the future (and definitely no projecting onto others) all sorts of expectations of what things should or Must feel and be like – that’s way too Exhausting!
We are human BEINGS not human Doings, so just fall into the surrender of BEING and let that be enough.
If you make a healthy supportive choice in the moment, that’s beautiful, if you don’t, just don’t beat yourself up about it, just don’t.
There is Nothing broken about you and nothing “Wrong” with you.
You are Completely Lovable and Worthy EXACTLY as you are!
Go Easy, Go Gently and Go Sweetly.
Be a RADICAL REVOLUTIONARY and LOVE yourself Anyway.