And then things were Different. More and more and more questions and numbers. Starting with 999.
My older brother had a massive cardiac arrest in the train station and some HERO grabbed a public defibrillator and saved his life.
SOME of the questions have been…..
How long was it before he got treatment and was defibrillated?
How many times was he defibrillated?
The unknown stats of his chances of making it initially.
the unknown stats of any possible damage to the brain.
Did he choose to stay and fight for life or to exit this existence?
The positive factor of his age and that he's a non smoker.
How many miles to the hospital?
how long would it take to get to hospital?
how many times did his heart stop?
what number floor was he in, in the hospital? what number of the ward? what number bed? What was the number to call up and check on him? Wards and beds changed and again and again as things changed from critical care unit to high dependency to coronary care to a surgical ward and currently intensive care unit.
Then how many wires and lines and tubes were in him?
How many drugs was he on?
How many machines were keeping him alive?
How many observations did his 1-1 nursing care carry out?
What are the numbers on the screen? what do they all mean? What are ‘Normal’ numbers? Are these numbers good or bad?
How long the nurses shifts are?
How many breaks do they get?
How many different nurses are met as days turn into weeks and turn into a month?
How much does this all cost?
How long would the operation be?
How Many grafts would be needed?
How many times he was opened up?
How many of his friends set up a rota to visit?
How many hours sleep have I had?
When was the last time I ate?
How many shows have I missed?
How much money I lost as my holiday was cancelled?
How many hours have I sat there?
How many kids are waiting at home for him?
How long recovery Might take?
What are MY chances of having cardiac arrest as he’s Only 2 years older than me!
I’m often on my own, who would find me IF I did have a cardiac arrest?!
Constant questions, Constant numbers.
At times overwhelming and coming back to precisely what’s in front of me here and now and dealing with that.
These crisis points are not to be wished on for Anyone and I wouldn’t choose it but it’s what I’ve had. I’ve done my best day by day, at times unable to visit as stress has been so intense in my own body that I have felt very unwell and have received medication from my own doctor to get through this piece.
My Gratitude to Every Single person who has taken care of him is Enormous. The NHS in Scotland has been Exceptional. The level of care has been Incredible. The standard of nursing has been Highly professional. I am Also profoundly grateful to Everyone who has sent ANY kindness to this soul, whether or not they know him. Kindness is incredibly powerful and Any good wish or kind thought or positive intention goes towards his recovery and I bow in Profound Humble gratitude.
The story doesn’t have an ending yet, he's currently in Intensive Care. Moving into a new month, who knows what it will hold, how many more questions and numbers?