I notice the warmth of my naked body under the duvet in the quiet house.
"Good morning body!"
"Thank you for waking up again", I whisper, when it just is never guaranteed my eyelids will open to greet the gift of a new day.
I am grateful I get to taste another day.
What will This one bring I wonder?
Stretching into my body as she comes around from amusing dream time.
My hair tickles my shoulder & brushes my face.
I hug my belly.
This flesh I hated.
This part of me I exiled & turned from.
This place of disgust & loathing in my mind.
This place I judged & scolded & scorned.
This place that has been mocked & judged by others.
This place that was said to be "disgusting" and "obscene" and "obese".
This place that was rejected & ridiculed.
This place that was compared to So many others & came of worst.
This place of "not good enough".
This place of shame & guilt & hurt & sadness & tears, So many tears.
This place I used as protection to hide from the world & become invisible.
This place I "think" deters & detracts others.
This place that was stuffed full of food or distraction so I wouldn't know or see the pain in there.
This place of my belly button that I can bare being touched.
This place which has mocked me daily with its phantom pregnancy largeness without the gift of a baby.
This place I hide & disguise with clothes to pretend it's not there.
This place of wobbles & jiggles.
This place of marks and wounds and scars.
This place of power and creativity.
This place of wonder,
magic,
sweetness,
beauty,
softness,
Sensuality,
Sexual power,
perfection and
utter divinity.
I hold you in my arms.
I caress you softly, so so softly.
Still I sometimes say unkind things to you & judge you harshly, but
Right now... I love you-
Every cell, molecule, every particle.
I can't kiss you but I would if I could.
Let my finger tips kiss you.
You are me, I am you.
You never Need to change,
Not to gain anyone's approval or affection or any of it.
You do not Need to get smaller, tighter, firmer, fitter.
I see you & understand you.
I know your stories & your secrets.
I caress you as I love you.
Teach me how to love you even more.
You are More than enough.
You are Me.
I know how you were revered & worshiped long ago before we all were struck by amnesia.
Goddess I see you.
I know you.
I am you.
I bow. 🙏