No sounds, no movement,
No thing.
It's rich velvet is Very Familiar.
This gift of No Thing wraps around.
I strain for Something to pull me back into movement
into an awareness of the body's edges
but Nothing holds me in silence,
cradles me.
I am Nothing.
I know nothing.
I bring nothing.
I offer nothing.
I give you nothing.
I speak nothing.
I teach nothing.
I share nothing.
I fix nothing.
I heal nothing.
I carry nothing.
I need nothing.
I ask for nothing.
I have no expectations,
no goals,
no plans.
Everything has been shed so nothing remains.
But what about love?
Do I love nothing? Could I love nothing?
But of course.
There is nothing I do not love so perhaps I also love nothing.
I "thought" I was lacking,
I thought the experience of nothing was wrong and somehow bad!
surely I had to Be SOMETHING!!!!! bring and offer Something- Surely!
I scurried around tasting, trying, learning, discovering....
Desperate to find what "IT" was.
Desperate to have Something to Show for this existence.
Desperate to have Something to Prove for my worthiness.
Thinking Something would make me Lovable.
but Nothing wanted my attention.
I knew this deeply, still-
I distracted my experience of nothingness with busyness,
to scared to sit with the vast endless infinite Nothing.
It took an explosion of the heart to take me out of the ordinary routine,
into Deep Rest.
At times I haven't been able to watch tv, read, tolerate light, meditate or sleep...
These gifts helped me sit in the blackness.
To sit with going nowhere,
doing nothing,
being with no one,
speaking to no one,
reading nothing,
listening to nothing...
In the Depth of nothing, I taste the Power of this beautiful gift,
The absolute power of nothing.
How it balances exquisitely with absolutely Everything,
No Limits.
Nothing is certain,
not even if my heart will beat the very next beat.
I offer no certainty that I will be in this body for another heartbeat.
This impossible fragility of life makes me Cherish the juicy aliveness of every single moment.
From Nothing, Anything and Everything is possible.
I taste "Sarosa", I taste my highest desire- Freedom.
I sit in the wordlessness and shine.