When I was young I played with wild abandon in the stream up the river, I jumped and leapt from boulder to boulder. I looked under rocks to see what beasties lived there and made little damns to explore what happened when the water couldn’t go the way it wanted to. I played “Pooh Sticks” to race twigs down the water. I had picnics on the banks with my family and played long into the summer afternoons by the stream, happily paddling in the cool still pools. I assumed this was what the river was, gentle, safe, fun, playful….
Looking back on the river Now, I see how wild and unpredictable she has also been.
The river changed, she got faster stronger, bigger… I fought unsuccessfully against the currents for most of the ride and I was so Exhausted by the struggle. I resisted my river as I tried without success to grasp on to roots by the bank with wild eyes of fear of so very much. I gasped and struggled as I felt pulled and sucked under by so very many whirlpools. I fought to breathe as I was pulled under over and over and over again, not knowing when and if I would Ever surface and if each gasp would be the last and I would drown right there. I have been bashed by rocks, hurled over waterfalls, run over by boats, hit by paddles, bitten and chewed on by the animals and monsters that live in the river, I have been infected by the parasites and diseases. I have seen where the pollution and stagnant areas were. There has been death and sadness and tears, suffering and a lot of pain. I have been beaten, bloodied, bruised and scarred in the river…
I have also seen the Immense, Incredible, Awesome Beauty of the river. She is now abundant, wide, majestic, powerful and magical. I have felt her energy as she teaches me and offers me so many gifts. I have witnessed her flow, pace, rhythm, and patterns. I have touched her texture and tasted the quality of the water and smelt her perfume. I see the piercing clarity of the crystalline sparkling truth of her waters. I have heard her song and music as it changes from gentle soft tinkling to loud raging and everything in between. I witness the abundance of life, joy and love the river brings. I note the colour in the water and how it spreads outwards. I notice the ripples from the river to other things. The waters have brought much nourishment to so much and so many. This river has traveled through many landscapes, such as deserts where she Hardly flowed at all to bursting banks from the seemingly never-ending monsoon downpours of tears. The river has flowed through towns and villages, through various cultures and customs, looking and learning all the way. It has brought so very many adventures and experiences and such an abundance of incredible souls who have entered into the water or been there on the banks.
I Allow the flow of this river. Let it carry me. Let me go With it. Let me move and flow with Every turn and change, the still aspects, the torrents, the waterfalls, all of it. Let me accept and enjoy the journey and Everything I meet as the river continues it’s return to the infinite Ocean of Love.